The Malarchy
by HurriPen
Summary: An epic tale that explores what follows the events of Twilight Princess.  Malo Mart, the Sky Cannon, and the technological advances of the Gorons will all play a part.  The Rupees will too.    It will be a lot of fun once it gets going.


_It has been five years since Midna departed for her kingdom and Link left Ordon Village behind him. In those five years, much has changed._

Storming clouds boiled outside her window in a stew of sky. The bedridden princess could feel the tower sway in the winds that promised rain in whistling tones. She closed her eyes to this familiar room of many years and many memories. Despite fatigue, no slumber came. Zelda shivered beneath her blankets, unable to feel neither their warmth nor that of the flames crackling in the hearth.

Steps echoed in the stairwell outside her room, resonating with old memories of captivity in this very room. The princess shifted uncomfortably under her sheets as she considered how apt the comparison was. Both doors swung open and two human figures shuffled inside her chamber.

One was a smiling maid decked in red and black, holding aloft a silver tea-tray with her evening meal of thin soup and a small black vial. Setting it down on the stand, she poured a few drops from the vial into the soup and started to stir it thoroughly, staining the brown soup with blood-red cordial. The other shut the doors with a resounding clank.

He turned around, revealing his lack of eyebrows and chubby face, with piercing brown eyes that bored into your soul and found it wanting. His hair white as snow and gathered in a topknot, Malo waddled towards the ailing princess, barely rustling his dull gray robes. "How are you faring, your Highness?" he monotoned, betraying no feelings through his face as he studied her.

"Poorly, as I am sure you can tell." He nodded gravely at this news, motioning to the maidservant to feed her. Zelda glanced at the cheerful maid proffering a spoonful, then dashed the bowl and spoon onto the floor, splattering soup and china fragments on the stonework floor. The grin slid off the maiden's face as she stared at the mess. "Why are you feeding me poison?"

Malo smiled unctuously and tried to mollify her. "What makes you so certain that this is poison? It is only your treatment. The same one you have been receiving for years."

The princess sat up and shakily held up her right hand, revealing a phosphorescent mark composed of triangles. "No more lies," she commanded as the symbol faded from the back of her hand, "I want the truth. For four years, you have served as my vizier. Now you have made an attempt on my life. I will not stand for this, Malo! Agitha, alert the guards!"

Agitha grinned insanely. "I do not think I will do that, Princess. I think I will give you a present instead." A crimson spider the size of her hand crawled out of her bodice and down her arm to her open hand. "Isn't it precious? It is a very rare species that Malo obtained for me. It should put your life to an end so nicely." She giggled as the spider sprung from her hand and landed upon Zelda's exposed neck, piercing her skin with its fang, injecting deadly toxins into her bloodstream.

The princess slumped down and looked at Malo sadly. "Please tell me: why are you doing this?"

"I do this because I wish to put into practice what I have learned. I believe that I would make for a better ruler than you. Hyrule will come into its own under my guidance. My talent forces me to do this deed, for it will not let me stand by idly while the kingdom stagnates. The secrets of your private library will doubtlessly help me in this endeavor in a fitting manner," he murmured quietly to the princess in deep tones.

She smiled wanly as her heart spread her death through her veins. "There are important things that are not written down in my books. And those secrets will lead to your downfall." Her eyes dilated and her face stretched taut as the poison finally began its work in earnest. Zelda's hands gripped the sheets tightly as she thrashed to and fro in seizures, tearing her bed asunder. Suddenly, her body was silenced and collapsed like a house of cards. The mark of the Triforce on her hand, which had glowed brilliantly in her struggle against the lethal venom, flickered like a dying flame and blew out like a candle.

He stared at her body in a vain attempt to understand her dying words, until he noticed his right hand lit up with an ethereal golden light. "It seems the Goddesses help those who help themselves," Malo muttered with a smirk, clenching his hand into a fist to better admire this adornment.

"Whoa! You have super-smarts now?!?" Agitha clasped her hands together tightly, beaming with child-like joy while her spider crawled back up her leg, its work done.

His smirk faded to a frown. "My dear Agitha, I would have to be a fool to rely on this trinket. It can perform a few nice tricks, but the Triforce of Wisdom does not ensure proper rule of the country." He turned to face the maid-servant. "Please inform the castle of Princess Zelda's sudden demise. They will have to prepare a proper funeral."

She skipped to the doors and flung them wide, tripping down the stairs with glee. Malo, left to his own devices, walked up to the open window and watched the dark clouds threaten storms. "The Princess is dead; long live the Monarch," he gravely intoned.

The sky-stew finally boiled over and poured torrents onto Hyrule, as though to mourn her passing. The Monarch then closed the shutters tight and began contemplation of how best to clean up the mess on the floor.

_Let seven years pass, and the story will find its hero waiting._


End file.
